Sep
15
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My three-year-old niece may have had her first experience with exclusion about a month ago. She was at a function for my brother-in-law’s dad’s Birthday celebration. A group of siblings who are the children of my brother-in-law’s cousin were playing 3 Ninjas. The middle child made it known that Brooke was not welcome. “She’s not hurting anything; she’s just sitting here,” said my mom in an explanatory manner. Only a few weeks earlier this boy who I think is around eight had played nicely with Brooke at my brother-in-law’s parent’s home. And Brooke was so happy about this that she said something about him playing with her or talking with her. Now the stakes were different. The child may have been demonstrating the poor side of leadership ability. He has quite a personality according to my sister and when he leaves a park the parents and children all say good-bye to him. That is quite a presence! I know that around eight is the age of secret clubs and exclusion. He said that the Ninjas were all related. My mom said that Brooke was Brian(my brother-in-law) and Becky’s niece. He seemed to take it in. Brooke didn’t seem to be upset by all of this as far as my mom could tell. Having Grandma with her may have made it a “safe place.”
Grandmas can be such a safe place and can help keep harmony with the children. I remember hearing that my own grandma was heart sick when my cousins were not getting along during a visit. They were from two different families. My family was neutral territory and got along with both. When grown, my second oldest cousin would confess how she often picked on another cousin. I don’t think she let it known that she knew the real reason for grandma being upset. I just remember someone saying that we needed to pick up the downstairs and I think we all pitched in as we heard Grandma was sad. I think I learned from my mom later that Grandma was upset about fighting.
Teachers also can create that safe place. A guest speaker at one of my University classes for people studying Special Education said that children really are welcoming if you prepare them in the right way. She said with the proper training that a Prehistoric Reptile could sit at the desk of the children and that they would be comfortable. Her experience with mainstreaming had been that positive. Children can be very catty and say mean things about those who are different in looks or even has a funny name. Children can also be very teachable. They have limited experience and I think that makes them so open to adults. Props to all the Grandmas, teachers, and caregivers etc who make it a safer place for children to make friends.
Sep
7
I felt a surge of emotion that did not usually accompany me when I addressed the brothers and sisters in my Young Single Adult Sunday School and bore testimony of the need to reach out to less actives. I was also emotional thinking of a convert who had become activated. I knew she was so special as my calling brought me in contact with her. Though she was not attending Church actively when I first started calling her, she would read the Book of Mormon at work. That was such an example to me as I thought it meant that she was open. I was more shy about such things in public. After we took her to a Fireside, she became very active and there were some sisters that became very close to her and socialized a lot.
How could I convey to the brothers and sisters who had always known the Gospel how very badly people needed what we had? I looked out at those who I perceived to have come from good homes. I think that the majority were here for Dental School and one for Medical School. There were local people here as well. I knew what I knew from the contrast in my life. I did have a faith from my youth that I treasured. I knew that the Restored Gospel had brought me such peace and closeness with God to a degree that I never experienced in the faith of my youth. Those were blessed days for me in my relationship to Heavenly Father.
I do now believe that members can know how much they have been blessed even if they have not had the contrast in their own life. I hope that I am getting the following correct as the mind can sometimes splice events together or confuse person and place.
There was an Elder in my mission who was very respected. Somebody posed a question to him as to whether he had been Spiritual prior to his mission. From his comments, I think that he had been blessed with God with the ability to be very spiritual but that he opted to live a more normal life and not be true to his gifts. He said on his mission that he realized how very much people needed the Gospel.
In my Institute class, there was a young man who I think at first thought it was presumptive or being a bother sharing the Gospel as a missionary. He too would have the awakening that people really need the Gospel.
I know life members can have their own conversion experiences. And they can have trials as well. One of my missionary companions had nightmare experiences prior to her mission that I do not know if I could survive. She was very blessed with testimony. I think that she said that she felt like she brought her testimony from heaven with her into this life. In speaking of those who are not members of the Church who have the Light of Christ and the blessings that can come from the Light of Christ, she said that they did not know what they were missing compared to the Gift of the Holy Ghost.
I can try to use all the words to teach about the blessings and not properly convey how very much the world needs the Gospel. My heart has been so touched and my cup has run over with the joy that I have known since being baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. My over-zealous friend who shared the Gospel with me later shared that he felt prompted that I needed the Gospel. I wasn’t even looking and didn’t even know what the Restored Gospel was even on a limited scale. He knew what the Gospel meant to him and he shared despite initial rejection on my part. I am so grateful for member missionaries and full-time missionaries. I give thanks for the Priesthood and those who are worthy Priesthood holders. I do know that I have been blessed.
Jul
27
My Changing Feelings About God
bkb
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God Head, Gospel, Heavenly Father, Holy Ghost, Jesus
One of the assignments in a high school religion class was to look at how your image of God has changed through the years. I have reflected on this in recent days and have tried to answer this question probably more fully than I did even in the years leading up to my original writing in high school while realizing the changes that have come to me in the years since my original writing.
I start now at the same place that I think I started in my assignment. I was a child and I think in First Grade. I was seated on the floor with my class while a Priest spoke with us. This was a rare visit. The Priest taught us that even if we were all alone and thought nobody knew what we were doing that God knew. I remember listening pretty intently and that the words had some effect on me and my earliest views of God as someone who knows everything. There are no secrets from God.
My belief in God in my grade school years revolved around God being the giver of what I wanted. I wanted him to perform a miracle to do my Math homework when I forgot my book and tried to bargain with him with such things as making my bed. The homework was undone by the sentence seemed light compared to what I feared. I hate to think of seeing God in the same light as Santa Claus. But in some ways that may have been my view. I recall once even praying to God to let Santa know what I wanted to Christmas.
In around fourth and fifth, I would rattle of the most shallow and short prayer. There was no foreshadowing of someone who would be spiritual in later years. In not so many words, I was basically asking to have good enough vision not to need glasses and to remain a child. I realize how worried my parents would have been if I were frozen in time in childhood as was my heart’s desire. I don’t recall praying for another during this period. It was all about me and not growing up. There was no real relationship with God. I didn’t even invite his help in other areas of my help nor do I think I was cable of that broad of thinking yet.
At my school, we would sometimes have a time when we could say confessions to a Priest. I remember praying on such a day in my youth with child-like faith in Church for my Grandma who had severe rheumotoid arthritius. Shortly afterwards, I learned that she was going to have a new treatment and I felt it was answers to my prayers. Later, I think I prayed for her again at Church during the time waiting or after seeing the Priest and shortly afterwards found out that the treatments that I think were not good were ended and I think I took this as an answer to prayer.
In high school, I was a rather troubled youth. Angst seems to have been coined for the very feelings of my youth. While I was not a wild child, I did have huge regrets regarding how I treated my mother. I felt like I was a monster. I don’t remember what I prayed about too much but I think wanting God to let me die was at the top of my list. Oh, I had depression too. There were a couple of times that I remember feeling good when praying. I did not know yet about the influence of the Holy Spirit. I felt a peace and knowing that God loved me who knew everything helped me. I still was just as troubled on a day to bases. Yet, I knew there were no secrets with God. He knew my every mistake. He still loved me.
After I became LDS, I conceptualized God as looking like Jesus. This was a little hard to get used to. The Doctrine that I lived with God before I was born and that he is the Father of my Spirit really made me feel more close to God. After receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost, I felt so blessed and so much peace. I felt so very loved. I would also learn that faith allowed me to do things that were contrary to my shy nature. I did not know faith could bring about change before and of the assistance and strength God could give to us.
Later, I would go through emotionally a lot of trials. I felt that I followed what God wanted me to do and it was so hard. It was the hardest thing in my life. And I felt so prepared to do what he wanted me to do. I viewed God as a tester. And I was so shaken up. I was afraid to ask for guidance as I didn’t want to be put to the test.
Now I see again the many ways God has blessed me. And he has brought me out of that darkness. I think I have regained feelings of friendship that I had towards God during my early years of being LDS at least to some degree.
I have also had to catch myself at times and realize that as wonderful as it is to have a relationship with God that He is really infinite and perfect. I read a good book on Catholic theology that spoke of how infinite God is recently. I felt such peace in my prayer that night. Knowing that God is so much more than I can comprehend gave me such feelings of reverence. The feelings of faith described in the book are much as I have experienced through the years starting when I was Catholic and continuing as an LDS person. God has been the same all along and has reached me at times through the years and guided me. At times, I feel God has guided me in spite of the many roadblocks that I create.
God is infinite. And being perfect and more than the smartest and wisest person on Earth, God still allows me to approach him as my Heavenly Father. I have heard of people that are so intelligent that they can’t relate to the common man. God can relate to me when I am simple and also when I think I am much more mature and contemplative. I think I need to learn more of my limits and how much of what I am is due to God allowing me to reach this point and carrying me. God is personal.
Jul
18
Personal Revelation or making a tough decision easy with the Lord
Helaman1 Comment God Head, Holy Ghost, Personal Revelation, Prayer
I struggle with it. I have that problem where I’m not sure if it’s the Holy Ghost, or me saying something to me. But generally I can feel the right thing.
This past week, has been no exception, except for the fact it had to do with one of the biggest and hardest decision I have ever had to make.
Yes I consider knowing my wife was the right one for me [to marry] a big one too - but this one will effect me just about as much.
It was for a job. It doesn’t seem like much, but let me put it in perspective. I travel about 110 miles a day to work and back. I am out of my house 12 hours a day. I make just enough, but with gas prices climbing it’s getting harder and harder to stretch the money. To top things off, my health insurance is more like catastrophic coverage, so we don’t go to the doctor unless it’s an absolute emergency. No, I’m not trying to get your sympathy - I’m just giving out a bit of personal information.
Then a job literally falls into my lap. It’s more money, it’s less then a mile from home, it’s free insurance, better hours, more time off, just all around better. I would have to say that it is the most dreamy job anyone could want.
I can’t recall doing it before for any other job, they always seemed to just happen and I went with them, we’ve been blessed that they’ve been good enough jobs for the most part. But lately as we’ve grow stronger in our knowledge and love for the gospel we’ve leaned on it more and more. So we fasted and prayed about it.
I got a good feeling about it, but never really felt confident about my answer and swayed to optimistic side of thinking that this was perfect and a blessing for our family since we had been fasting and praying for a better job. My wife on the other wasn’t so lucky. She came to me in tears and told me that I shouldn’t take the job, but I stuck to my guns and said I was taking it - I couldn’t pass this up, plus I had told the person I would accept it. For a couple of days, there was nothing but a tense air about the house and my feelings were changing, but not very well. I was still on the fence, I could go either way, both thoughts felt good. I could take it and I felt good, or I give it up, and I felt good.
Then we talked it out (me and my wife). There have been only a handful of times in my life where I’ve felt so calm before, but as my wife cried her feelings out I tried to comfort her and what I said wasn’t what I thought I would say.
I said that I would let the job go, that even though this is a dream job, this isn’t the right path to go down. There’s something else for us whether it be be good or bad it’ll be alright. We’ve always been alright and the Lord will take care of us.
What I didn’t say was how much of weight was lifted off my shoulders as soon as I said it, and frankly as I write this I haven’t really thought of it that much. Before I was constantly thinking about it, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was making me sick that I wasn’t getting an answer and that my wife had. I really haven’t even thought about what I’ve given up, even on my long commute - I’m still happy.
While I never really did get a direct answer, I did get an answer. It didn’t come how I wanted it too, it came nonetheless. It was just a very quiet one, the volume knob must have been turned way down. I may never know why I shouldn’t have taken this job, but it doesn’t matter…
Jul
3
The 4th Of July
Helaman4 Comments Ezra Taft Benson, Faith, Gospel, Government, Joseph Smith Jr., Preparedness, Prophesy, Responsibility, Teachings
I wanted to take a moment to reflect on this upcoming holiday. Before all the fireworks, picnics, swimming and parties lead to one short weekend, and I realize I’ve yet to make a post.
I want to talk about why this holiday is one of the most important holidays to me. This one isn’t about presents, or candy. This one isn’t about bunnies or ghosts. This one is about God and this Country.
People can say what they will about the founding fathers, but they are all wrong! God inspired the men and women who led and changed the course of events to take this country out of bondage and create the first uniquely free nation, a nation founded under the belief in God.
It amazes me how far people will go in their effort to tear this country apart under the guise of freedom. Using inept interpretations of how those freedoms work. They tend to forget that with all that freedom comes a very real and a very great amount of responsibility. They take for granted, just exactly how they obtained the freedom they so carelessly toss about.
As LDS members, this should mean more to you then the jello salad you’ll have this weekend, or that perfectly cooked steak you’ll have. This country and it’s Constitution is so important to our religion. We should try to understand it as completely as we can. We have been warned, even prophesied - ““Even this nation will be on the very verge of crumbling to pieces and tumbling to the ground, and when the Constitution is upon the brink of ruin, this people will be the staff upon which the nation shall lean, and they shall bear the Constitution away from the very verge of destruction”1.
Does anyone actually understand what that means? In a talk given by Cleon Skousen, entitled “Secret Combinations and Freedom” he describes the answer by learning it, understanding it and being able to apply it [The Constitution]. Are you ready to bear up the Constitution? I know I’m not. But as brother Skousen said, it gives a measure of relief to know it’s us that will do it.
With the recent 2nd Amendment ruling, it was made evident to me, just how much I didn’t know. Sure I understood the basics, but even then I was painfully aware that I lacked understanding in key principles that I thought I knew.
According to brother Skousen, in another talk entitled “Secret to America’s Strength” he illustrates that the founding fathers answered every problem America is facing (I beleive the talk was written in the 70’s) at that time, and I’d be willing to bet still answers them today - but we’ve been slowly and quietly moved in a different direction. Away from what God had inspired these men to write, and what those words meant.
I’ll end this post with just a couple of thoughts and ideas.
The first so give you some cause for happiness. It’s a prophesy [The Constitution will crumble], and that means there is always a cause and effect action applied to it. If we do this, this will happen adversely if we don’t do this, that will happen. The Constitution need not crumble.
That’s where the second piece comes in. I’ve suggested it before, and I’ll do it again. LEARN THE CONSTITUTION. But don’t just read it, understand it. You’ll notice if you read the first couple of pages of opinion on the recent 2nd Amendment ruling that even Supreme Court justices reference 18th century dictionaries to properly define words used. You can do this too. I also suggest reference material, written by church leaders and scholars - Cleon Skousen is a great start and you get his teaching material that he used in his own Constitutional course given at BYU.
Readers, I testify to you of the power and strength of Heavenly Father. He loves us, and that loves is so deep and sweet that with it and His strength we can over comes anything! While I am not a perfect person, and sometimes feel so inadequate, but as my Father in Heaven has the greatest capacity to forgive and love me, I know that with Him all things can be accomplished.
One last thing, have a wonderful 4th of July! Cook a yummy meal and celebrate exactly what the 4th means to this nation and your family.
- Ezra Taft Benson, “Our Divine Constitution,” Ensign, Nov 1987, 4 ↩
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